Naked but for the towel around his waist, a man of a certain age sat by himself, bent slightly forward as if praying, in a corner of the sauna at a gym in central Rome.I had not met this man before, but as I entered the sauna, I thought I recognized him from photographs.The boy’s parents alleged that the woman had entered the house forcibly.They said both came in contact through chatting over phone and used to meet discreetly.Not allowed to marry because the boy was a minor, a young couple locked themselves up in the boy’s bedroom at his residence in Kerala’s Ramapuram town and had physical relationship.After persuasion attempts failed, the boy’s parents called the police, who broke open the door and took them into custody.
It is not rare to see a younger guy and an older woman date and have a very intense sexual and romantic relationship, which defies the traditional “older man, younger woman” set-up that we are used to seeing. First, the fact that such a dating situation is still somewhat taboo makes is all the more enticing and exciting.Supposedly, he loves to dish male colleagues with campy female nicknames. The priest was embarrassed: to have been chanced upon at this place; to have had his small evasions revealed. No, he did not wish to discuss the subject I was interested in. In February of this year, not long before the College of Cardinals gathered in the Sistine Chapel for the conclave to choose the 266th Pope, the largest Italian daily newspaper, reported that a “gay lobby”—a more or less unified cabal of homosexual power brokers—might be operating inside the Vatican.According to the newspaper, the possible existence of this gay lobby was among the many secrets described in a two-volume, 300-page report bound in red and presented to Pope Benedict XVI by three cardinals he had appointed to investigate the affair known as “Vati Leaks.” That scandal, which raised fresh suspicions of endemic corruption within the Curia, had broken the previous year after Paolo Gabriele, the papal butler, made off with some of Benedict’s private papers and leaked them to the press.Many younger guys are driven to women who are 10 years older than they are or more, as these women are often more confident and more sexually driven and passionate than the younger women.These younger guys are both curious and excited about dating a woman who, is not ashamed of what she wants sexually, unlike the younger girls of his own age who are often confused about just about everything, including their romantic and sexual desires.I have a solid group of friends, a supportive family and a clear awareness of who I am and who I want to be. Yet the moment I have to tell the guy I’m dating that sex is not an option, I become a squirmy, awkward, fidgety girl who can’t make eye contact or put together a complete sentence.Think junior high dance, only without a bathroom to hide in.And given the choice between having just one boy with whom to spend all my time or a group of boys, friends trumped boyfriend.In college there were a handful of guys who probably could have been my first, but things never quite worked out.He looked like a priest with whom I’d corresponded after mutual friends put us in touch, a man I had wanted to consult about gay clerics in the Vatican Curia.My friends told me that this priest was gay, politically savvy, and well connected to the gay Church hierarchy in Rome. He had told me that he’d be away and couldn’t meet. Yes, his plans had changed, he said, but he was leaving again the next day and would return only after I was gone.